Happy New Year to me

I had the full moon with me as I walked this morning. It's a gift usually reserved for the night time, but this morning, it watched over the sunrise from high in the sky, and over me during my walk. Since childhood the full moon has been a special friend – I believe it watches over me. It reminds me of the majesty of God, His looking in one my life and the wonders of this universe we've been given to embrace and explore.

The morning seem filled with a great and peaceful stillness. There was a point, as I walked and prayed, that even the birds were silent so I could hear. I was able to breathe in the peace and feel it strengthen my soul. The moments were a perfect birthday gift.

A new year starts for me today. I know, the calendar says the new year starts on January 1, but my rhythms for reflection, rejuvenation and new beginnings have always been strongest and more enduring around my personal year.

The past 12 months were a whirlwind of change for my family and the spinning started by many of the adjustments has yet to stop, or even slow down. To characterize any as good or bad is to try to give meaning in isolation, but nothing that happens is like that. Everything is, until later. It's value, significance, usefulness and meaning can only be evaluated in context, and context comes from the broader perspective of distance and from wisdom and thoughtfulness.  

The results of my
first mandala meditation. 

For the first time in years, 14 to be exact, I was able to indulge in my reflective, meditative ritual of renewal and resurgence. I rested, prayed, meditated, wrote, sat in solitude, chatted with friends, cooked, read, reorganized, indulged in creative pleasures, watched television, read, discarded, added, berated, praised, evaluated and planned, all to come to the start of this new year with gratitude, insight, energy, motivation and courage.

I start this year with as full a plate as any other, despite all I have released, and with faith as the only plan for how to pull it all off.  (That sentence made me laugh aloud with a joy from deep within. It acknowledged the peace about all that's to come I just this moment realized I possess.)

There is much to do, and I look forward to it with excitement and eagerness.

Some quotes, old and newly discovered, that I'm carrying into my new year (some of them mine):

"Uncertainty, surrounded by attention, intention and faith, lead to success."

"Everything is, until later."

"When you're lost and alone, or you're sinking like a stone, carry on. May your past be the sound, of your feet upon the ground, carry on."

"You will make it, but only if you run."

"A thing is exactly what it is, and nothing else."

"I put one foot in front of the other one. I don't need a new love or a new life, just another place to die."

"Woman can do all things if she will."

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."

"In a day when you don't come across any problems, you can be sure you are traveling on the wrong path."

"Do not allow fear to keep you from reaching your goals and pursuing your dreams."

"In order to get more into your hands later, you have to be willing to give away what you hold now."

"Make the most of where you are. Your future may very well depend on it."

" Be encouraged in the fact that the adversity that stands before you is only temporary. Your success is not contingent on the adversity but rather you being able to see past it."

"When you do small things right, big things happen."

So, without further ado, I must get started. Happy new year, to me!

Nothing from me today -- she is saying it better (click here)

Statute of Limitations

Often, when talking about our lives, we talk about some childhood hurt. Someone told us we were not smart enough to do something, we were chubby and taunted by fat jokes, wore glasses and got called "four eyes" or weren't loved enough/well by our families -- and we find we're still hurt by those past actions or comments. Many of us still carry that pain and over time those things have grown from hurtful experiences to impediments, roadblocks and even walls between us and making our dreams come true.

Well the statute of limitations -- the maximum time an event can be held accountable -- on much, if not all, of this stuff has passed. There comes a point when the past can no longer be used as excuse for the future. We have to let it go, end its power over us and with new strength, move forward.

The time passes anyway

When I was contemplating returning to school, I spoke with an admissions specialist on a fairly regular basis. I was ambivalent about taking on the challenge. As the head of household for a active family and working a job where I was on call for approaching 24/7, I was concerned about being able to make the time commitment necessary to see it through. I didn't want to fail and I wanted to be the stellar student I knew I could be.

I'd almost given into the voices saying, "Now is not the right time," but the admissions specialist said something -- which I imagine was part of her script to overcome objections -- that resonnated with me in a way nothing else, pro or con, had. She said: The time will pass anyway. The only difference at the end of two years will be whether or not I'd earned the degree.

I couldn't argue with that logic. The time would pass and I would use it in some way. But would I use it in a way more productive, fulfilling and important that going back to school? Did I have other plans or important goals that going back to school at that time would impede? If not, and I didn't, why wasn't I taking this plunge?

There was no reason why, so I did. And she was right. The two years did pass anyway, but at the end I had the degree to show for it. 

So often we put off the things we want, or even need, to do. We are waiting for the right time, for it to fit into the schedule better, for there to be enough money, for others to buy into the sacrifices, for it not to require so many sacrifices ... and sometimes those reasons are very valid.

But most of the things we put ahead of pursuing the desires of our hearts are not. We often block our own dreams with mere excuses, things not worthy of being speed bumps on the road to our success, much less the detours or roadblocks we make them. We get in our own way, we prevent ourselves or undermine our efforts -- with plates too full or fears of failure -- and end up doing noting. But the time passes anyway.

We need to embrace and expand those desires we hold dear and remember, doing them a day at a time, we will eventually succeed, as the time passes.